Early Morning Grace

It was 4:45 one recent morning when I awoke.  No, I didn't have my alarm set, unless you call a nosebleed an alarm!  I decided to make the best of it so I grabbed The Message New Testament.  The page marker was placed in Romans 5 so I started reading.  Here is what I read:

20-21 All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn't  and doesn't  have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that’s the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life—a life that goes on and on and on, world without end.

When I read that aloud to my wife she smiled and said, "Brennan Manning."

I said, "Nope...the Bible."

But it does sound like something Manning would write.  Actually he did:

Over the years, the growing consciousness of radical grace has wrought profound changes in my self-awareness. Justification by grace through faith means that I know myself accepted by God as I am. When my head is enlightened and my heart is pierced by this truth, I can accept myself as I am. Genuine self-acceptance is not derived from the power of positive thinking, mind games, or pop psychology. It is an act of faith in the God of grace.

Manning, Brennan (2008-08-19). The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out (pp. 48-49). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

It has and continues to take the aggressive forgiveness and radical grace of God to help me work through my dysfunction (dare I say sin?).  It tells me that God is not about to give up on me even when I want to give up on myself.  I'm so glad He is hanging in there!

Ragamuffin Birthday

On this day in 1967 I came to faith in Jesus Christ.  By years I'm down the road quite a bit, but at times I feel I'm not as far down the road personally, whether in spirit or in recovery.  I'm my worst critic.  As we say in recovery, "My insides never match the outsides I see in others."  Others seem to have it together but so often I feel I don't.  That's why I am a Ragamuffin.  I don't have it completely together and seem a little dis-shuttled at times.

Yesterday was one of those "dis-shuttled" days and it has bled into today.  I need to keep in mind what I need to celebrate rather than what I would like to forget.

All of this reminds me of a quote from the Ragamuffin Gospel:



When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games.

Manning, Brennan (2008-08-19). The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out (p. 25). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

"Lord, help me to be honest when I want to play games.  Remind me that I am your "artwork" like Beethoven's unfinished symphony.  Help me to remain patient while you continue to work.  Amen.