Have you ever had a secret thought that became part of daily life? Please don't think me morbid, but nearly everyday I think about my death. Just keep reading, it get's more interesting.
I was getting a little concerned about this secret thought. Now it hasn't affected my daily life but I have to ask, "Does this sound normal?" When it comes down to it, our culture doesn't handle the subject very well. Most people don't like to think of their mortality. I worked as a law enforcement chaplain for 26 years. I watched people as they faced the death of a loved one. I saw this hundreds of times. They would turn to me to talk about their mortality and loss.
I was relieved to have Brennan Manning me put this into perspective.
In his book, Abba Father, Manning quotes Saint Benedict: "...keep your own death before your eyes each day." Brennen reminds us,"It is not a counsel to morbidity but a challenge to faith and fortitude. Manning continues, "I waffle back and forth between fear and anticipation of death. I am most afraid of death when I am most afraid of life" (p. 146). I guess that's true for me. When life is on the upswing and I'm feeling good about my relationship to others and God, I do not fear death..I'm ready for it. But when life's valleys come and I'm confused about my relationships, then death scares me to death!
Death gives life perspective. I noticed when I worked a Ground Zero that the petty things of life didn't matter. It has been said, "When you die you won't say, 'I wish I had spent more time at the office.'" When I got back home I was hypersensitive to the pettiness of life around me and just wanted to shout, "THOSE THINGS DON'T REALLY MATTER." Even if I did shout it out I would look like a weird street corner preacher.
I'm convinced that life cannot be lived fully without understanding its relationship to death. Does that sound morbid? It shouldn't,
I would love to hear your thought on this subject.
