Ragamuffin Grandpa

It has been forever since I last wrote.  I'm in a reflective mood today so here it is!

Please keep in mind that one of the definitions for "ragamuffin" is a ragged person.  That can mean physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  I am a ragamuffin.  Don't smile, so are you!

This ragamuffin is a first time grandfather.  My son has said, "When it comes to parenting, I don't know anything."  Well, I can say the same about being a grandpa.  Who am I to have such a beautiful granddaughter?

A ragamuffin is someone who is a recipient of grace.  Grace is God's undeserving gift to me.  That is Lucia - an undeserving gift.

My life is a gift.  Sometimes, as I look back through the eyes of a boy who grew up in a dysfunctional alcoholic home, my life felt anything but a gift!  There were even times I wanted to end the grief, stop the pain, and jump ship (code language for suicide).  But now having lived through it all, I can say I am in the best space I've ever experienced.  I've never had much by way of finances.  My dad was a steelworker and made a living with a good retirement.  The only financial inheritance I received from his estate was $100 due to the betrayal of a family member who took the rest.  I thought about framing the check but it would have been too painful and besides, I needed the money. I'm glad the day came when I could let go of the resentment.  Resentment would only hurt me more than the original betrayal. If you want to become wealthy, don't go into ministry. The payoff is spiritual wealth.

I now, like most ragamuffins, live a life of recovery.  I'm so grateful to God for the 12 steps and daily surrender.  My group is the most accepting people, regardless, or should I say, because of my weaknesses.  They can accept me because they are ragamuffins as well.  I am just one beggar showing other beggars to food and water.

I am grateful for my wife, three boys, two daughters-in-love, and my granddaughter.  I may be a ragamuffin, but I certainly am a wealthy one!

(Please send your feedback and and insights.)