This is kind of a test post. First, my thanks to my friend Wally for including me and for being one of several people who independently recommended "The Ragamuffin Gospel" to me within a 24 hour period. God clearly knew what it took to get my attention.
I've finished "The Ragamuffin Gospel" and have started "Abba's Child". I have to say that Manning's perspective looks like the "missing piece" of my relationship with my heavenly Daddy. Of course now the hard part is making the "Aha!" moment into reality in my life, in my soul, in my relationship with God and others. I've spent so long trying to "earn" acceptance by God and my community, trying to hide my true brokenness, trying to pull myself up by my own bootstraps - it is hard to let that way of life go and simply relax into my Daddy's arms.
Over the last several weeks God has drawn me back from the edge of a private abyss with a phrase that Manning mentions but actually came to me from a different direction - another of the convergence of God's speaking to me. I was reminded of Paul's repeated to be relieved of his "thorn in the flesh" until (if I may take liberties with the phraseology) God finally had to tell him, "Paul, shut up about it already!" Of course God's words were much more gracious, "Paul," [and this is the part that I have to keep hearing God say to me] "My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in your weakness."
Between that and Manning's "Abba - I am yours" God has gotten me through to the place where the real work can begin. I don't know what that looks like. I am very aware that I can't do it. I'm barely willing to let God do it. But as someone once observed, "All we can do is to be willing to be made willing..." OK, that I can wrap my mind around. I'm a little bit willing and God can work with that.
Mark
It's funny (odd) that my friend Wally should bring me back to this post by sending it to me again. I just rediscovered that phrase "My grace is sufficient" for you. It seems to have been working to soften up that hard place in my heart that forms the barrier between God and me (and everyone else). I am grateful for it. But seeing that I had been in almost exactly this place 9 years ago is a helpful caution that I cannot be complacent about it. I have to open myself to that "sufficient" (nay, abundant, extravaganza, overwhelming... ) grace every day, every moment. I know better than perhaps most how easy it is to go unconscious and let the door swing silently shut again. I still am pulled to think that I need to "try harder" to keep that door open. Except... I suspect that too is all grace.
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